Asleep in the Wrong Boat

“And a great windstorm arose, and beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But [Jesus] was in the stern, asleep on a pillow.” – Mark 4:37-38

“But Jonah had gone down into the lowest parts of the ship and laid down, and was fast asleep.” Jonah 5:1

Ever since reading Mark 3:38 I’ve had this notion that real faith would be to sleep in the boat in the storm. What would it be like to have so much faith that the waves don’t even wake me? But the more I dwell on that the more I fail. I see how worried I get, and I fall short every time.

This morning I was reading in Jonah and I saw Jonah asleep in the stern of his boat to Tarshish. Is this what real faith looks like? Jonah is asleep in the boat, not worried at all about what’s going on around him. But the thing is, he was asleep in the wrong boat.

The Greek word used for “asleep” means to stun or stupefy with sleep. He was stupefied — what a description! He was so out of touch with faith and obedience that sin became his peace. But of course, it was a fake peace without assurance and safety.

Mark 4 uses a word which, in the Greek, means to lie down and rest. To rest. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if God is ashamed when I’m freaking out in the boat inside of a storm. But what I do know is that I would rather be uneasy in the boat with Jesus, than asleep in the wrong boat like Jonah. I’d rather be broken in the presence of my savior, than believing I’m whole apart from Him.

God is never surprised that I’m white-knuckled while watching the waves. I imagine Him smiling at me and saying “Baby steps are okay Samantha, you’re in the right boat.”


Relying on His Sword

“You rely on your sword…” – Ezekiel 33:26

What do I rely on other than the Lord to bring me though? Though I may not have my own sword, or rely on violence, I’m not fully convinced that’s what this verse is pointing to.

God’s people were relying on their own strength to get them though every circumstance, and left God out of the picture of their lives. They relied on their strength, their intelligence, their ability to fight through things their way.

Now all of the sudden we can relate to relying on our own swords. The amplified Bible’s version of Ezekiel 33:26 says “You rely on your sword [as your security].”

I don’t know about you, but this is starting to sound more and more like how I operate sometimes. I get into challanging times and I tend to be a pull-myself-up-by-the-bootstraps kind of person. I power through it because God is always glorified when I’m strong, right?

But scripture says “Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? … Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.” (1st Corinthians 1:20,25)

God is glorified when I am weak and dependant because then the world can see where it all comes from — His spirit in me.

It has nothing to do with me. Relying on my own sword is pride and independence from God. We can’t lift up His name without His strength first. It’s only by His strength, His spirit, and His sword that we can bring Him glory.

But He Gives More Grace

If you’ve ever sat next to me in church you’ve probably noticed I have no shame toward writing in my Bible. In some books I wish my teenage self had more selfcontrol with the highlighter, but in general I love being able to look back and see my growth, remember illustrations from various sermons, and connect the dots on themes throughout scripture. 
For this past month I’ve been reading in Ezekiel, and it’s been challenging for me to say the least. It starts out with this beautiful image of God revealing Himself to Ezekiel in the brightness and glory of a rainbow after a rainstorm — God’s symbol of peace — and throughout the book it shows God’s wrath being poured out on His people. It seemed conflicting to me. 

But the more I sought the Lord about it, the more He showed me that His grace is scattered all throughout this book. I wanted to see His grace more clearly, so I started to write the word “grace” beside every second chance and show of mercy that God gave Israel. 

Chapter twenty catalogs the journey of God bringing Israel through the wilderness. Over and over He makes new convanants with them, and gives grace when they break the past covenants. He shows grace upon grace. 

He calls them in chapter 18 to “Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourself a new heart and spirit.” By grace He offers the means of redemption, and the meathod by which they can follow His statutes — a new heart and spirit. 

Amidst righteous anger there is a gracious heart desiring His people to cry out to Him. 

I am reminded of one of my favorite lines of the bible. “But He gives more grace…” James 4:6

Trusting God Enough to Stay Quiet

My brother is on track to get his learner’s permit soon, and if I’m being truly honest, that’s terrifying for me. I am also old enough to be the adult instructor in the car with him as he learns on the road. Also terrifying. I imagine myself in the passengers seat of my car, questioning everything with white knuckles. “Why are you changing lanes?” “Where are you going?” “Why aren’t you stopping?”

He may become a perfect driver, but this will always be the uneasiness of my heart when I’m in the passenger seat of His car. (Love you, kid!) 

But why is this the state of my heart before the Lord, too? I’d like to say I’m only like this sometimes, but in all reality this is me consistently. Always questioning, always crying out for guidance. 

I’ve always thought it was a good thing to be constantly on your knees asking for guidance from the Lord, but over this past year I’ve learned that it really just shows a lack of trust and steadiness in your heart toward God. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The whole Psalm shows you what it means to be still when the world is ending — but why can’t I have this attitude in all aspects of my life. 

If I can trust God when my whole world is falling apart, why can’t I trust God when my next step is a little foggy? 

God calls us to be asleep in the boat when the storms are raging. Remember Jesus’ complete trust in the Lord in Matthew 8:24? He was asleep when all of the disciples were convinced they were going to die. I know how every one of these stories end (Spoiler alert: Jesus saves them), Yet I’m still a white-kuckled backseat driver with no reason to freak out. 

This morning I had a gentle voice in my ear asking a simple question: When will you trust Me enough to stay quiet?

Sustaining Change Requires Fellowship

Exodus 17:12 — “But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.”

There’s this quote by Thomas Fuller which I’ve always chosen to let drive my life over the years — “all the gears in a machine are put in motion by one.” I’ve always loved it because it reminds me that God can use one person to change hearts, and patterns of thinking. One person really can make a difference in God’s economy. But, over this past year He has expanded that idea in my mind to something more.

All the gears in a machine are put in motion by one, but the machine is sustained by the multitude of gears.

Throughout history God has called individual men to be the start of huge movements throughout history — but, he’s never called them to sustain those movements by themselves. Moses didn’t bring the Israelites through the wilderness alone, Paul didn’t make it through His missionary journey without the kindness of local churches, and I’m not meant to walk through life without the support of the body of Christ either.

The one man who could have done it all Himself — Jesus — chose to use ordinary men and delegate the gospel to the 12 disciples. He could have spoken one word and His glory would have been known throughout the earth. He was God in the flesh. Yet He called 12 men to carry His name, which then became 72, which then became us. God never designed us to carry the weight of Christian life on our own, but to share the burden with Him, and those who He has put in our life.

So often we, and I am putting my name at the first on this list, get a charge from the Lord and try to walk it out on our own. But we forget that, through God uses one person to start a movement, He never calls one person to sustain it. His glory is shown through His many believers striving together for personal growth and worldwide change. Not one person carrying the weight of everyone else.

May we become people who grow more into Christ’s image by becoming the reflection of His body together. Lord, help me to put aside pride so that may I come alongside your people and lift up their arms. Teach me to let other people lift my arms up when needed. Let us be more of a body — working in perfect unity.

Psalm 17:15 — “As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.”

The Revelation of Jesus Christ

Over the past few days the Lord has really put it on my heart to move into Revelation after I finished my time in the small epistles. Revelation has always been one of the most intimidating books of the Bible for me. I’ve never been able to understand anything in it, and I’ve always given up before finishing. Lately though the Lord has been showing me that I’m missing so much of the richness of His word by not digging into all of His word.

The Lord is so good to make His word come alive, I didn’t even make it past the first three verses without his Spirit putting something on my heart. 

“The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave Him to show His servant — things which must shortly take place. And He sent and signified it by his angel to His servant John.” Rev 1:1

I always used to call this book Revelations. It is kind of weird to realize its actual name is “the revelation of Jesus Christ.” What a difference that makes! It’s not just revelations of little things to come, but the singular revelation of the glory of Jesus Christ. It’s not about predicting the end times, the beast that will come out in the future, or even the view of heaven — it’s the revelation of Jesus.

According to the Webster’s dictionary, the definition of a revelation is something revealed with a sudden inspiration or understanding. This book is the revelation of Jesus Christ, not the hiding of Him. The Lord didn’t cloak this book in big words and confusing images to throw me off. It is revealed for the purpose of understanding Him. And it was signified or sent out to John. This message was revealed to John and intended for man to understand. 

All scripture is God inspired and profitable for teaching. Verse 3 of chapter 1 says “blessed is He who reads and those who hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written in it; for the time is near.”

I’m excited to begin my journey through the revelation of Jesus Christ resting confidently in the fact that the spirit will make the Living Word come alive and my heart.

To be Poured Out

2nd Timothy 4:6-7

“For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith.” 

I have always kept this verse as a sort of battle cry for my life in ministry — especially for field time. I have said many times before that I want to go to bed exhausted every night knowing that I poured myself out before the Lord. But, now I’m realizing that that’s not what the verse says. It says “I’m being poured out” not “I’m pouring myself out.”

The question for me is, am I hitting the pillow having poured myself out, or having been poured out by God in whatever way He desires? That means allowing myself to be poured out for whoever He pleases, whenever He pleases, wherever He pleases, and however fast or slow He pleases. 

Whoever He pleases means being willing to be poured out for those who don’t appreciate it. That means being willing to be poured out onto what looks like dry ground — I need to trust that He know what he is doing even when my service looks “pointless.”

Wherever means Guatemala instead of Cambodia, working for JoAnns instead of Potter’s Field — simply being poured out where God leads me while trusting He knows what He is doing. 

Whenever means whether people are looking or not, whether I’m tired or not, whether I feel empty or full, knowing that the Lord will supply me with all boldness and strength to be poured out. 

However means I need to be content to be poured out as a trickle or at a dumping speed. Whether I’m actually being poured out of my strength with actual labor, or I’m serving the Lord in the small things, it’s being content with however He uses me. 

So if I’m being poured out by God, not choosing when, where, who, or how, what is my responsibility in this? Look at verse 7: “I have fought…I have finished…I have kept.” My responsibility is to fight, finish, and keep my eyes fixed on Him. I need to sit down, buckle up, and press on and in to Him. 

It’s easy to think of how Paul is the one saying this, and put the idea of being poured out for the Lord high above our grasp. But, when we stop and recognize that God’s the one pouring us out, and it’s His sovereign hands choosing the circumstances, the idea of being poured out becomes words we can all say at the end of our race.